Search Results
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Dose of Durst
John McCain is anxious to prove he can attract both moderate white Republicans and not-so-moderate white Republicans....
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Dose of Durst
Astronomers predicted the earth will disintegrate in 7.59 billion years. The good news is by then either Hillary or Obama will probably have the Democratic nomination nailed down....
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Dose of Durst
George Bush vetoed the torture ban bill, reinforcing his reputation as not a divider, but a waterboarding uniter....
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Dose of Durst
Cindy McCain should refrain from wearing white. Makes her look too much like John's attending nurse....
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Dose of Durst
You could say that the electorate is less than excited that Ralph Nader is running again. You could also say porcupine quills make inadequate pillow stuffing for day-care nap time....
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Dose of Durst
You could say that the electorate is less than excited that Ralph Nader is running again. You could also say porcupine quills make inadequate pillow stuffing for day-care nap time....
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Dose of Durst
Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton engaged in their twentieth debate together and God, it was riveting. Like listening to golf on the radio in Mandarin....
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Dose of Durst
SMU announced they will build a $200 million George W. Bush Presidential Library. Wow. Sounds like a lot of money to spend on a shelf....
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Dose of Durst
The New York Times released a potential bombshell about possible indiscretions that may or may not have involved John McCain and a woman who does not look unlike his wife putting them in the running for a Pulitzer Prize...
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Dose of Durst
Ralph Nader announced he's running for President again for the fourth time. Shouldn't the three strikes law apply here?...
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Dose of Durst
Wonder what John McCain's campaign slogan will be? I'm guessing a variation on something like: "Hey, you punks, get off my lawn."...
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Dose of Durst
According to recent polls, the Democrats think they have a lock on the election this fall. I haven't seen them this excited since John Kerry became their nominee four years ago....
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Dose of Durst
President's Day is the holiday we celebrate all the great men who have led this fine country. Fittingly, George Bush has the day off....
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Dose of Durst
Hillary Clinton said she plans to build a new energy industry in Texas AND in America. At least she recognizes the two have little to do with one another....
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Dose of Durst
The Republicans are left with a candidate who believes that dinosaurs lived at the same time as men, and another who can personally refute that belief since he was there....
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Dose of Durst
Mike Huckabee says he doesn't believe in poll numbers, but he does believe in miracles. Apparently he expects God to smite John McCain dead....
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Dose of Durst
President Bush keeps saying "Freedom isn't free." Well, yeah, it is. That's the whole point. Otherwise, they would call it Costdom....
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Dose of Durst
Hillary Clinton has replaced her campaign manager. In related news, the White Star Line is now selling replica Titanic deck chairs....
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Dose of Durst
The last time California Democrats were this involved in picking their Party nominee was back in 1972. When they chose George McGovern. Uh- oh....
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Dose of Durst
I'm not saying Hillary's adopting a paler make-up to deliberately emphasize her Caucasian-ness, but she' s starting to look a bit Kabuki....
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Dose of Durst
I think we all know they call it Super Tuesday for the quantity of states involved and not the quality of the participants....
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Dose of Durst
Inside Cable News reports that Karl Rove is joining Fox News. In an official capacity. As opposed to his unofficial status of the last seven years....
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Dose of Durst
What can you say about Mike Huckabee that hasn't already been said about day old road kill spread across all three lanes of I-40?...
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Dose of Durst
During George Bush¹s last State of the Union Address, he received his biggest response for announcing this was his last State of the Union Address....
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Dose of Durst
Jose Padilla was convicted of filling out an Al Qaeda form. You know, I filled out an application to Yale, but that hardly makes me a member of Skull & Bones....
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Dose of Durst
Democratic candidate Dennis Kucinich quit the race partly due to a recent poll where he garnered 1% and the poll had a margin of error of plus or minus 4%. So, worst case scenario: he owes us three more...
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Dose of Durst
President Bush is giving his State of the Union Address and three will get you five that he finds the State of the Union good, but it could be better. And the Pacific Ocean: moist. But global warming --...
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Dose of Durst
Jose Padilla was convicted of filling out an Al Qaeda form. You know, I filled out an application to Yale, but that hardly makes me a member of Skull & Bones....
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Dose of Durst
The Academy Award Nominations were released, but incredibly, Mitt Romney's portrayal of a caring and concerned individual was totally ignored. As was Dennis Kucinich's impersonation of a normal human....
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Dose of Durst
Democrats still wonder how they lost the '00 and '04 elections. Well, this week Hillary Clinton received 51% of the Nevada primary vote compared to Obama's 45%, but Obama won one more delegate. Well, there's your problem. Math. Apparently,...
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Dose of Durst
The whole moist-eyed thing is good positioning for Hillary because it places her in two worlds. She's crispy on the outside and gooey on the inside. Kind of like a deep-fried Twinkie....
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Dose of Durst
Ralph Nader endorsed John Edwards, but Senator Edwards has thus far failed to acknowledge it. I guess that's one of those good news/bad news things all wrapped up in itself....
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Dose of Durst
John Kerry endorsed Barack Obama last week and you don't know how much backstage maneuvering the Clinton camp had to navigate to get this done....
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Dose of Durst
I'm so tired of change. Already. And I haven't even seen any yet....
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Dose of Durst
John McCain is superstitious. He stayed in the same room in the same hotel in New Hampshire as when he won here in 2000. Wore the same clothes. Held his victory party in the same place. I imagine he...
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Dose of Durst
New Hampshire youths were overwhelmingly in favor of Obama. And if more of them had woken up and voted, he might have won....
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Dose of Durst
President Bush heads off this week on a nine-day Mid East trip, which is destined to be mired in apprehension and complexity. And that's just learning how to pronounce the names....
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Dose of Durst
Only one person in recent history has won the Presidency without winning either the Iowa Caucuses or the New Hampshire Primary. Fortunately, Hillary shares the same last name as that person....
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Dose of Durst
Going to see a lot of winners come out of Iowa. You watch, folks who come in fourth will talk about how they won by exceeding expectations. Which, just like in pre-school, gets you a ribbon and that¹s about...
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Dose of Durst
People forget that the Iowa caucuses are different than primaries. The best description of caucuses is they're kind of like musical chairs without the music. And no chairs....
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Dose of Durst
Congress passed legislation to toughen the Freedom of Information Act, and over at the White House, a series of secret, clandestine, behind-closed-door meetings will determine whether they'll sign the bill....
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Dose of Durst
Researchers in the Indonesian province of Papua found a rat five times the size of a city rat. And no, they didn't name it The Lobbyist Rat. Should have. But didn't....
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Dose of Durst
Mitt Romney says he doesn't recall taking a photo at a Planned Parenthood event. Doesn't recall. If he doesn't get the Presidential nomination, looks like he's working on the qualifications for Attorney General....
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Dose of Durst
Bill Clinton says voting for Obama is "rolling the dice." Is this our initial indication that the Clinton campaign has resorted to "crapping out?"...
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Dose of Durst
A new Democratic report says the White House has systematically manipulated climate change science. Can't wait for the next report that says that Death Valley is dry....
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Dose of Durst
Former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee says when he said people with AIDS should be quarantined, he didn't really mean, "quarantined." Hopefully when he said he was running for president he didn't really mean, "president."...
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Dose of Durst
Mitt Romney's big speech about Mormonism caused a lot of voters to say, "He's a Mormon? I didn't know that."...
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Dose of Durst
Nobody can decide if water boarding is torture, even though the inventor, Torquemada, called it "tortura de agua." And as head of the Spanish Inquisition I consider him pretty much an authority....
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Dose of Durst
Rioters in Paris have prompted a zero tolerance response. They will now be treated as American tourists....
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Dose of Durst
If time spent in the Oval Office is considered qualification for the Presidency, Monica Lewinsky should be forming an exploratory committee....
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Dose of Durst
Mattell should produce a Mitt Romney action figure. In order to get it to change positions, you keep asking the same question....
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Dose of Durst
Dick Cheney was rushed to the hospital for his forty-second heart procedure. I think its about time they accept the fact that it's two sizes too small....
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Dose of Durst
Considering the sudden 180 degree turn former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney made on both abortion and gay rights, I'm surprised he's not campaigning in a neck brace....
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Dose of Durst
The White House has decided unity might be a bit much to hope for from Iraq and has lowered their expectations. Yeah, George Bush is good at that....
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Dose of Durst
Mayor Giuliani says Hillary Clinton, "cannot take a position and stick with it." As opposed to Rudy who is perfectly capable of sticking with a position, as long as the words "I do" aren't involved....
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Dose of Durst
Mitt Romney has flip-flopped so much, I'm surprised his campaign ads don't close with "I'm Mitt Romney, and I both approve and disapprove of this message."...
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Dose of Durst
Hillary Clinton has been accused of planting questions in Town Hall meetings. Of course she could always claim she was just trying to help out due to the writer's strike....
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Dose of Durst
The Christian Right is threatening to form a third party if Rudolph Giuliani is the Republican nominee. They could call it God¹s Only Party but the acronym might confuse people....
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Dose of Durst
The Dennis Kucinich Presidential campaign received a big boost this week when someone left a stool next to the podium....
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Dose of Durst
FEMA apologized for holding a fake press conference, but no apologies appear apparent for the fake Presidency....
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Dose of Durst
President Bush wants another $48 billion for the Iraqi occupation. He insists that not only was our invasion a good idea, if he had to do it over again, he would screw up in exactly the same way....
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Dose of Durst
It looks like Vladimir Putin is about to hand over the reins of government to himself. Hope this doesn't give Dubyah any ideas....
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Dose of Durst
The good news is FEMA showed up in California. The bad news is they came to fix the levees....
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Dose of Durst
It must be hard to be a Democrat these days. Have you ever seen a bigger bunch of losers? Except for the Republicans I mean....
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Dose of Durst
The neocons are saying Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is another Hitler. I thought Saddam Hussein was another Hitler? Can't Ahmadinejad be another Mussolini?...
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Dose of Durst
The good news is FEMA showed up in California....
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Dose of Durst
The good news is Al Gore won the Nobel Peace Prize. The bad news is the Florida Supreme Court is claiming jurisdiction over the election results. Will Durst: likely Nobel Laureate 2008....
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Dose of Durst
George Allen has joined the Fred Thompson '08 campaign. I assume he¹s not there as speech coach. If only some candidate would hire Will Durst as a speech coach......
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Dose of Durst
It looks like Vladimir Putin is about to hand over the reins of government to himself. Hope this doesn't give Dubya any ideas. Bush already has enough ideas that need stopping...including his Putin-esque domestic spying. Stop Bush from Putinizing...
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Dose of Durst
At the Republican debate in Dearborn, Michigan, candidates expressed amazement that Americans think a recession is near. You know what these guys need? An advisor who actually works for a living. Get another dose of Durst to help you...
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Dose of Durst
A coalition of Christian Conservatives have threatened to form a third party if Rudy Giuliani is the GOP nominee. Don¹t know what they would call it. "Taliban" is already taken. Enjoy a little more Durst...and thank whatever-god-you-believe-in-or-none-at-all it's Friday....
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Dose of Durst
The FBI plans to head up the Blackwater investigation in Iraq, during which they will be protected and escorted by...Blackwater. You can't makeup stuff like this. Oy. Do something to stop the madness in Iraq...then enjoy more Durst to...
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Dose of Durst
Newt Gingrich says he won't run for President because no one has given him $30 million. Yeah, that's my problem too. Durst may not be running for Pres, but he's running Off Broadway in NYC for just a couple...
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Dose of Durst
Condoleezza Rice says we have no plans to invade Iran. So how does that differ with what happened in Iraq? No plan to invade also means no plan to exit...and we saw where that kind of planning got us....
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Dose of Durst
It was weird to see both Bush and Ahmadinejad speak at the UN on the same day. One of them is a clueless, out of touch leader who has antagonized friends and foes alike and the other guy is...
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Dose of Durst
The pope said Europeans aren't having enough kids. Not that he's helping the situation much. Enjoy a little more Durst, and enjoy your weekend....
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Dose of Durst
Hooters just opened their first restaurant in China. That will teach 'em to use lead paint on toys. On a day when the Senate censured MoveOn for speaking up and telling the truth, we all need a laugh...if we...
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Dose of Durst
Regarding New England's football team and their alleged spying, Coach Belicheck's defense is sure to be he thought it was allowed under the Patriot Act. Ah, the Patriot Act...thinking of it is just one more way to celebrate Constitution...
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Dose of Durst
The President said General Petraeus's testimony wasn't a sideshow. Would have been more believable if he hadn't been munching on cotton candy at the time....
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Dose of Durst
Actor/Senator Fred Thompson jumped into the Republican race, filling that coveted Thompson slot recently vacated by Tommy Thompson. Just some late night goofing from our friend and yours, Will Durst....
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Dose of Durst
It turns out the gay Republican Senator who quit insists he isn't gay, and might not have quit. Still a Republican though. Enjoy more Durst when you need to escape from it all....
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Dose of Durst
Democratic fundraiser, Norman Hsu, is once again a fugitive after failing to appear in Superior Court. The authorities should look in the same place the Democrats hid their spine. FISA...war funding...silence on Iran...is a spine in Congress harder to...
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Dose of Durst
Hillary Clinton maintains she's the candidate of change. Bush. Clinton. Bush. Clinton. Sounds more like rotation to me. Catch more of the wit of Will online or live in NYC where his show resumes next week....
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Dose of Durst
President Bush made a surprise visit to Iraq over Labor Day weekend. Nice of him to visit the course he intends to stay. The President's comments to his authorized biographer that he's "playing" for the fall with troops in...
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Dose of Durst
Idaho Senator Larry Craig opened his press conference to announce how not gay he is by saying, "Thank you for coming out today." This guy is beyond clueless....
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Dose of Durst
Recently retired Attorney General Alberto Gonzales will probably write a book. Taking a cue from O.J., he should title it: "If I Remembered It."...
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Dose of Durst
The latest National Intelligence Estimate says the Iraqi government is paralyzed by internal squabbling and petty personal differences. So, apparently, we have made some strides in installing an American style democracy over there. Leave it to Durst to turn...
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Dose of Durst
In President Bush's speech to the Veterans of Foreign Wars, he made an analogy between Vietnam and Iraq. You know, I can't help but thinking: maybe if he had gone to one, we wouldn't be in the other. Let's...
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Dose of Durst: Gonzales Goodbye Special Edition
Alberto Gonzales resigned today. Wow. First Karl Rove, now the Attorney General. At this rate, Laura will be out of there by Halloween. Timely, tempered and a little touching. Touche....
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Durst for President!
On a week when our President refuses to support children's healthcare while he tries to bully us into a military confrontation with Iran, you may just want to scream. Good thing our friend Will Durst does it for us...in his...
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Dose of Durst
Karl Rove quit his job as White House Chief of Staff in order to spend more time lying to his family. Rove may have resigned, but there are others who are not going as quietly. Maybe it's time to...
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Dose of Durst
The Republican Presidential candidate line-up is whiter than mashed potatoes on paper plates with a side of stewed leeks. Hey! That's unfair to mashed potatoes. At least they go down easier than "Double Guantanamo" Romney and "Yankees-Over-Ground-Zero" Rudy. Check...
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Dose of Durst
Karl Rove, Bush's brain, quit last week. And no, he hasn't been replaced, so yes, you could say the cavity remains empty. Durst dishes just about daily -- both at his own site, and live on stage in New...
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Dose of Durst
Mitt Romney won the Iowa Straw Poll over the weekend, and former Wisconsin Governor Tommy Thompson lost to the straw. Enjoy more of Durst's delightful diatribes -- online if you're inclined, or live if you're in New York City....
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Dose of Durst
Karl Rove announced he is leaving the White House at the end of August. Of course, he has always served at the pleasure of the president. Of Halliburton. Enjoy more Durst -- live in NYC or online anywhere....
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Our Friend, Will Durst
Will Durst, whose jokes and columns regularly appear on these pages, won praise in The New York Times this morning for his one-man show which opened in New York last night: Television isn't Mr. Durst's best medium; it doesn't...
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Dose of Durst
Whenever I hear Congress has joined the war on crime, I always wonder: which side? Enjoy more of Durst's diatribes and have a great weekend....
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Dose of Durst
Every time Bush vetoes a stem cell bill, the Democrats are expected to keep introducing it since they are depending on that research to grow themselves a spine. The week of the FISA cave-in, no truer words have been...
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Dose of Durst
When George Bush vetoed the stem cell bill, he said “Americans should not be asked to pay for the destruction of human life.” So, what the hell are we doing in Iraq? Mr. Durst, you're humor sometimes stings with...
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Dose of Durst
Senator Mitch McConnell threatens to scuttle the bipartisan ethics reform the House already passed. Everybody knows millionaire Senators don’t need the oversight, its those poor House members that are the problem. There are other people trying to ease the...
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